Written by me

Last Tuesday, I'd just come out of Hyde Park on my red Vespa and was proceeding jauntily down Exhibition Road when I noticed they'd painted a big circle in the road. Now, I know all about the new Kensington and Chelsea austerity measures but I…

With 56 days to go to the Olympics, I'm already excited. Everybody is. My friend Simon is so excited that he and his family are leaving London the week before and only coming back when the games are over. "Are you crazy?" I asked. "Where's…

As regular readers of this monthly column will know, I've been eating out every night for the past 15 years. It's not easy, but someone has to keep London's restaurants going, especially in these austere times. And It doesn't matter whether I order spaghetti or…

As regular readers of this monthly column will know, I've been eating out every night for the last 15 years. It's not easy, but someone has to keep London's restaurants going, especially recently in these austere times. And It doesn't matter whether I order spaghetti…

Any chance of my becoming a famous TV celebrity historian was dashed at 14 when, in order to pursue my foolish, romantic, childhood dream of becoming a dentist, I switched to biology, chemistry and physics. So, when I went on a day-trip to Oxford last…

Any chance of my becoming a famous TV celebrity HIstorian was dashed at 14 when in order to pursue my foolish romantic childhood dream of becoming a dentist I switched to Biology Chemistry and Physics. So when I went on a day trip to Oxford…

Last Monday morning I'd just crossed Conduit street when I saw a warden about to write me a parking ticket. I ran over. "Stop! don't give me a ticket," I shouted. "I'm a great friend of the Yoruba people. I love Lagos. Nigeria is my…

One morning in June 1990, I walked into a sports car showroom in Wandsworth, "Hi, I'm Peter Rosengard." "Like the car?" The owner asked. "There's a French car called a Rosengart." "That's unbelievable!" I said. Naturally I had to have one. So what if it…

Last Saturday morning, I was sitting on a bench in Central Park in NY. I looked up from my New York Times to see that a six-foot-tall, red, furry creature had sat down next to me. "Hi," it said. "I'm Elmo." "Hi, Elmo." I said…

I spent last weekend in Glasgow. This came as a slight surprise to me as I was meant to be in the Highlands. I'd taken the midnight sleeper from Euston. But at the other end, after being driven down rain-washed, dark, granite-faced streets for five…