Written by me

The editor has had quite a week. He tweeted: "I've had car vandalised, been pick-pocketed and had pram stolen from locked car. In leafy suburbia." And "the police don't give a damn". I am of course hugely sympathetic but it could have been worse. It…

Last week, I drove to Bourne End (on Thames) to visit my old friend Guy. We were heading for Costa Coffee, when I suddenly dived into a hardware shop Hardware shops are like another planet - they're full of things I don't recognise, but I…

Have you got the Jewish Chronicle?” I always loudly ask in London newsagents. I like to do my bit for interfaith relations… never the “JC” for me. But when I said it last weekend, all I got was a blank stare and guttural muttering, in…

I was sipping a rum punch, looking down on billionaires' yachts from the terrace of a house in Antigua. I can't pinpoint the exact moment the conversation at lunch moved from yachts to 9/11 but I suddenly found myself saying heatedly to the other guests:…

Last Friday, my daughter Lily and I flew to Rangoon. We were met by our bowing, smiling driver: "My name is Bon; James Bon!" he said, laughing uproariously. I opened my itinerary. "Tourists may be followed by plain-clothes officers for the first few days." "Bon,…

I'm starting my own Middle East diversionary tactic today in the hope that this might restore some sense of proportion to the newspapers' front pages. And here is Rosengard's Breaking News Headline: Saudi Arabia has dirty fridges. In an international study of nine countries, 95…

Last Saturday I had to fly to New York. At six that evening I was in a cab heading from JFK into Manhattan, when the driver said "The Tornado is due at 9pm." He said it like a waiter saying "your breakfast will be with…

Alert readers will have noticed that my column recently celebrated its third anniversary. This didn't escape the eagle eye of our editor - and you can imagine my delight when the big man himself had breakfast with me in a leading hotel (OK, Claridge's). "I've…

Last Saturday, I flew to New York. At 6pm I was in a cab from JFK into Manhattan, when the driver said: "The tornado is due at 9pm." He said it like a waiter saying, "your eggs will be with you in five minutes." "What!!?"…

London Olympic conversation number one, in a taxi. "Going to the Games?" I ask the cabbie. "No mate… I've got no tickets," he said sadly. Did you apply for any tickets? "No, I didn't" "You know something? I think there's a connection here," I said.…