Written by me
You might just have missed it on the News this week, but The Queen of Bali arrived in London on Monday for a private visit. Her Majesty, otherwise known as my kid sister, Tabatha, has lived in Bali for the last fifteen years, and is…
On Saturday morning I dropped in on my parents. I thought I would surprise them. They live five minutes from me in a mansion block on Baker Street, exactly behind Sherlock Holmes's flat. I rang the video entrance phone. Five minutes later, the screen flickered…
You will remember I was in Disneyland a couple of months ago. The day before 'The Mickey Mouse Incident' my mobile phone had rung; it was Howard, an old friend I had lost contact with years ago. Every couple of years, I would bump into…
I feel the time has come for me to appeal to you, my readers, for a small favour. NO… I don't want to borrow any money. Actually, I need your help in getting me back into the Guinness. NO... I have not been kidnapped by…
Peter Rosengard hits the campaign trail 50 years after his Uncle Jack captured Rudolf Hess. But just whose side is he on? And why is his candidate dead? The last member of my family to play an active role in politics was in 1942, when…
I have no idea why I am here, but I am at the 54th Cannes Film Festival. (Which for reader Mr. L in Uzbekistan is on the French Riviera, France. 'We are Serious and Fun' is this column's credo.) Everybody in this town is a…
I was born with the 'Not to Queue' gene. I found this out only recently when I went for a routine life insurance medical. They accepted me at standard rates, but with an exclusion clause that the policy was null and void should I ever…
I have been watching those horrible scenes on the TV News night after night and, like millions of other fathers of young children, I also reached for the remote control before my five year old caught a glimpse of... those pictures… of John Prescott on…
I once found an Italian family of five living in my flat. I had never seen them before in my life. They had been there for months. I hadn't heard a thing. Mind you, it was a big flat; they were in the East wing.…
I was clearing up my home office the other day (also known as "that room full of rubbish", as Cathy my cleaner calls it), when I came across a 1982 letter from Prince Charles, (actually it was from his Private Secretary) which began, 'Prince Charles…